oh, I used to be disgusted

So I haven't properly signed in here for nine months. Over the last week or two things have kept happening to remind me that I shouldn't just leave this journal abandoned, with no explanation or forwarding address.

I have no idea how many of you are still out there - I need to go through my flist sometime soon and figure that out. I'll probably add some of you to my google feed reader (though I'm not sure there's any way to do that with flocked journals, which I know a whole bunch of you have). I have other means of contact with lots (maybe most) of you, but LJ used to be the center of my online existence, and there are people I've been missing for sure.

If you're afraid I'll lose you and don't want to be lost, please comment and let me know. But yeah, I think I'm done with this place. I'm not really sure why I stopped, but it feels unnatural to be posting here now. I won't be deleting (there are an awful lot of fond memories here, not to mention the record of a significant chunk of my life), though I might lock down; I'm not sure.

I'm thinking about setting up another blog at some point, to use both for posting artwork and for intermittent musings; a new home base. (My website is also starting to feel like something I'm done with, at least for the timebeing - it's just not an ideal format for the way I want to share my work right now.) In the meantime, the most likely places to find me on the 'tubes these days are:

my deviantART gallery
my delicious
my twitter

I'm still on Facebook, too, but I sign in only very occasionally these days. Anyway, love you guys: hope you're all well. Be seeing you. ♥

Boo.

Yeah, I'm still alive, I just haven't signed in here in over a month. Wacky. I've had a real lack of emotional energy for things like this over the last month (more, really), and I've been spending a lot more time in my fannish spaces. (I am way too behind on my flist here to ever catch up. Not that you should have to, but if something significant has been going on in your life that you'd like to tell me about, I'm all ears eyes.)

The proverbial wind seems to be changing, however. Maybe it's the time of year, or maybe I'm just finally getting over the hump (I'm kind of afraid to jinx it); I feel much more awake and aware, with a touch of wanderlust.

( Some things: academics, comics, friends new and old, and maybe maybe England and France. )

And that was your slightly over-wordy update on my life, ugh. I'm hoping to be around here more, and then I should actually write less heavy-handed and ridiculous entries. On a less self-absorbed note, Amanda Palmer (of the Dresden Dolls) has a fucking incredible new album out this week. It leaked over a month ago, so it's out there for free, but this is one of those cases where I definitely urge people to support the small less-than-wealthy artist; if you want an advance idea of the music, she's posted videos for most of the songs.

I should get to work, but randomly: my roomie just added me to his Netflix account. I already have a pretty sizable queue, but just for the heck of it: any movie/tv series recommendations, lovelies?

Katherine is safe and sound in Armenia.

Also, it looks like hostilities are coming to an end. I need to see if there's a way to donate money to the relief efforts that are beginning now.

The conflict in Georgia is escalating. Kath and her fellow Peace Corps volunteers are still safe in the mountains, away from the conflict.

They are being evacuated to Armenia. Kath says that the hotel there will have internet access, so she will be able to get into contact with people via email in the next couple of days.

I let her know that everyone's thinking of her; she really appreciated it.

The networks in Georgia are badly tied up right now, so it's VERY hard to get calls through (I tried many times yesterday and today before finally reaching her). However, if one of you does want to try and reach her, you can email me for the number. You'll probably want to get a calling card (I got mine through alosmart.com) if you're going to try it. (I'm not sure how much longer she'll have that number; if it'll still work in Armenia. I didn't ask, but by then she'll hopefully be able to contact us by other means anyway.)

(Kath is really worried about her host family and the people she knows in Georgia. Understatement of the year. If you would pray, or just think good thoughts, or whatever you may do for people in difficult circumstances, well. That would be something, I think.)

I'm a little freaked out right now, because of what's going on in Georgia. Kath's okay; I was on the phone with her briefly yesterday and about half an hour ago. She says that all the volunteers are going to a village in the mountains which is out of the way of everything, at least for the weekend; they don't know anything for certain, but if the situation continues or escalates, it's likely that the Peace Corps will pull them out.

She's very worried about the people she knows there; her host family's village has been nowhere near the fighting just yet, but they have other family members in the Ossetia region. (Also, apparently some of the other volunteers' host villages have been bombed, after they had already left for the mountains.) But, Kath's okay, and she suggested I let everyone know.

I'm home for the weekend . . . I'd have let everyone know, but I'm not really going to have any time to hang out. My grandmother's visiting from Chicago, and we're pretty well scheduled up.

It's so beautiful here. I have a feeling I'll be back more in the fall.

I am having a fantastic day. My life and moods have been really swingy lately, and I need to see to that, but this is one really great upswing.

( Art exhibit, and lots about comics. )

I should probably go to the grocery store now, but I think I'm going to go curl up with some movie or other, and draw.

Well, my weekend was a strange mix of awesome and horrible. Who on earth gets a summer cold? Me, apparently. This is really not on, particularly in such miserable weather, dammit.

Wound up having to miss Lam's birthday party; I'm really sorry about that, hon. :( On Saturday I was driven out of my apartment by the heat (roomie #2 is wondering if I will eventually cave and air condition my room). Somerville was having Art Beat, a rather nifty local arts & crafts festival that spanned most of the square, but I really couldn't do more than take in as much as I could while en route to the diesel cafe. I hid in there until after dark. (I should probably hang out there more often. In spite of feeling sick and shaky, I drew for the entire time, and actually came up with some crucial background elements for Goodness Knows. Also, the sandwiches are pretty great.)

After that, I wound up saying "fuck it" and going to see The Dark Knight by myself. (I'd tried to make plans with various people, but it wasn't working out, and I guess I wasn't feeling patient.) It was fucking awesome (I mean, sure, I could come up with a few issues and points of discussion, but essentially, it was awesome).

Sunday I saw Wall-E and went out to lunch with the roomies, which was nice, dragged myself to the grocery in between thunderstorms, and watched the Avatar: The Last Airbender finale. So lots of fun, except for my very unhappy sinuses and the fact that I can't sleep in 90+ degrees, no matter how sick I feel.

Life has been kind of weird lately. On the one hand, all kinds of good things have been happening. I made delicious stir-fry last week, chock-full of all sorts of crazy vegetables (with a half-improvised recipe). This was a triumph: I am an infrequent, non-intuitive, crappy cook. Also, I think I'm doing rather well with this whole guitar thing (I could stand to practice more, of course, but still), and I just thoroughly enjoy the classes. I've even been relatively social lately. Fourth of July weekend was a lot of fun.

Oddly, though, I've been feeling all kinds of down. I suspect that a large part of this is hormonal; clearly I'm still all kinds of irregular and should never have gone off the pill. I should call my doctor.

I mean, I keep going to call/text Kath over some random tiny detail of my day that nobody else would care about, and I can't. So there's that as well. And there's the fact that I let her become so much of my world for awhile there; it's not just that I miss her, it's the other side of that.

I don't know; I'll figure it out. Tonight I'm going to see the Hush Sound at the Middle East in Cambridge, which is going to be amazing. I am actually mostly excited and happy, right at this moment.

Ow, fuck, my fingers. Well, it's certainly easier to get myself to practice guitar this week. My teacher gave us songs that we could pretend to be playing (you know, try to strum the chords and try to sing along, god I've gotten off-key). Just fumbled my way very awkwardly through "Eleanor Rigby" and "El Condor Pasa" . . . I feel bad for my roomies, I think they shut themselves up in their rooms. (I shut the door, but old old New England houses don't have the best ever soundproofing.)

Speaking of whom, we've all pretty much decided to sign the lease for another year, huzzah.

I'm a little moodswingy but mostly all right. I'm actually managing to be kind of social, dinner with nifty people and the like. Today omnia_mutantur made me get a Somerville library card (I had one for the BPL, but) so that I can get graphic novels there and not pay tons of money. Also, I came home to a package full of awesome minicomics by someone I've fangirled for awhile now.

(Nothing is ever as inspiring as other peoples' work.)

I have been drawing lately. A little bit. Here's part of a gift I made for my globe-trotting bestie, if you'd like to take a gander: ( Lookee, a picture! )

I'm thinking that at some point I might share uploads of some of the random music I've been acquiring this year. (Particularly The Hush Sound, because I'm in love. And going to see them in a few more weeks!) Me listening to current bands . . . it's kind of weird.

I had an awesome weekend with my friend Kate: we did a lot of tourist things (straight out of my childhood) and went to Boston Pride. There will be photos when she gets back from Ireland and uploads her half. Also, I think I'll be ready to be more social quite soon. Not this week, but soon.

I am so twitchy right now. I've read a lot of great comics lately--I've been buying some Hellboy, and both The Umbrella Academy: Apocalypse Suite and the final volume of Y: The Last Man came out yesterday--and I feel like I'm going to burst with unused inspiration.

Several people have asked me about Anathema in the last week, and I've realized something: it's going to be a long hiatus. It was always too ambitious a project; it needs so much research and background reading, and so much rethinking. It's a story with characters, a vague premise, and . . . an ending. There has never really been a plot. By the time I'm ready to really focus on telling it, it's going to be so different from all those false starts.

There will be other things in the meantime, obviously, as I've talked about before.

*sigh* It's easy to babble about art and all the things I should be doing. (My life is a series of shifting resolutions. Just look at this fucking journal.) I feel awful right now. The last volume of Y: The Last Man almost brought me to tears; I am all emotional under the surface (and clearly don't know how to handle that). I miss her.

Um. Have you guys seen the live lion-cam?

Insert obligatory whining about the weather here. Ick. (I have caved in to wearing skirts more often, as a work-friendly alternative to shorts.) Also, I really hope my landlord calls me soon about fixing the second window in my room.

I'm tired and hot and sad, and I'm probably going to continue to be totally incommunicado with most people for a bit yet. This weekend I'm going to be tied up with cilghal's visit and Pride, which should be lovely. Might surface after that (and try to catch up on everyone's lives, meep). My guitar classes start next week, and then I'll be done with almost everything scheduled and able to start making it up as I go along (which I'm rather looking forward to).

Some geeky items of note:

-Neil Gaiman was even better in person than I'd anticipated. The lecture at MIT was an unexpected highlight of my year. Once I get the DVD (which will be amazing to draw to) I will probably inflict some particularly squee-inducing quotes on you all.

-Prince Caspian was surprisingly enjoyable, in spite of the godawful pop song that played over the last few minutes of the film. (Don't do that, dammit. Classic fantasy and contemporary pop just generally do not mix, and that was a really revolting example of the latter. If you must use it, save it for the credits themselves . . . if I ever watch again, I will have to mute the ending.) Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull was also mostly great fun, if not utterly amazing. Marion was (unsurprisingly) the high point of the movie for me. I have still not seen Iron Man, but I will.

I had a commuting adventure yesterday (along with a sizeable portion of the workforce)! ( Hereby hangs a tale, well, sort of. )

Anyway, I've generally been busy. Spent this weekend all over Boston with Kath. We're in the middle of the doc exam at work, which means that for the next few days, I come in early and am on call all day (in case of more fun temperature quibbles or computer problems). I'm not a huge fan of summer, but I'm looking forward to things calming down a bit . . . to Kate's visit, and guitar lessons, and the school year being over.

So I've been in a good place for ideas lately. I had to stop in the middle of a subway station on Monday to scribble down ideas for the Side B anthology (finally). I think I just figured out how to wrap up that interminable skirt-panic comic strip (I don't even like it that much anymore, but it needs to get finished anyway). And, I've been thinking about Goodness Knows. Because, y'know, I really should.

I had planned on actually setting the story in Northampton, and having Mickey be a Smith student. The thing is, though, that I keep running into a wall, because I find that I really don't want to write about college life right now. :/ So now I'm thinking of making her a just-graduated young adult out on her own, with a very impractical degree and some kind of retail/food service job. It would certainly fit her mood (she's seriously grumpy).

And I know, I know, I have this serious problem with "my characters are me." Alas. (Gabrielle has to stay in high school, though! It's kind of important to the story. So I can't move everyone along to my own stage of life.) Re-framing it like this is actually giving me plot ideas, which I was seriously lacking before, so I think it has to happen. (Besides, clearly this is a stage of life in which someone could use a wacky half-fallen angel to shake things up.)

Now to fret about the lack of ethnic diversity in Anathema's cast. ^^; Or work on my tattoo design some more. Or plot out mix cds (olivia_circe, you are contagious).

I put the Ditty Bops, the Hush Sound, the Dresden Dolls and Vampire Weekend into Pandora. I wound up with . . . Ani DiFranco.

Just strikes me as weird.

Good morning, world. I had a crazy/amazing weekend and am now much like a zombie, but the weather is clearly improving, and so will I.

I'm feeling seriously stir-crazy at work right now, but there's a great deal coming up to look forward to (silly action movies, Neil Gaiman, friends visiting from far off, guitar lessons, good comics, summer concerts, baseball games, and who knows what else).

I've decided that I definitely do not want to be at Smith for graduation/reunion this year. I need a year off from that stuff, at least; I also need this weekend to try and get the basic details of my life back in order a bit. I think I could use to travel (short distances, but still) a bit less for awhile, or I'll never get anything done.

Summer might be a really excellent time for people to visit me, by the way. I have space, and a lot of people that I miss. Just sayin'.

It was so fucking beautiful today. I went over to the Cambridgeside mall after work, in search of affordable jeans (which I found--thank you again, hermionesviolin <3). It's really pretty over there. I need to get around more.

It's been a lovely week in general; too bad that it's supposed to rain all weekend, while I travel around like a crazy person. Oh well, I am prepared. *brandishes poncho*

Things are good. Today I received confirmation that I'm all signed up for my guitar class, huzzah! And I brought my guitar back from home last weekend, so all I need is to take it in to a shop and I'll be all set. Also, I've been drawing again . . . randomly pulled out a couple of characters from a YA novel idea I played around with awhile ago, and now I have yet another back-burner comic idea. Sigh. ;) I need discipline, but first it's great to have inspiration again.

I tried to start going to my new gym this week, but things have been too crazy (just not the right week, wow). I am all ready to go for next, though.

Work continues to be insanely dull, but I'm so not ready for more job searching yet, and the benefits are so handy . . . so, guitar lessons, gym, drawing, and we'll see where I am as the summer goes. Plus, my boss is a sweetheart, and that's not anything to sneeze at.

Going to have an amazing weekend in New York with sweetvalleyslut and olivia_circe. One more day to get through first!

Dear asshole,

Thanks so much for spilling your iced coffee all over the floor of the T, and then not bothering to warn or apologize to anyone around you. I was foolish in believing, just because there was no enormous puddle when I sat down, that there would not be one when I stood to exit the train.

Thank goodness I started lining my backpack with a plastic bag ages ago, or my sketchbook would have been ruined.

No love,
me

Apart from that fun surprise--I'm so glad the (much cheaper) messenger bag I ordered should be here in a day or two!--I had quite a good day. My boss totally surprised me with a large vase of flowers after lunchtime! I had completely forgotten about "Administrative Professionals Day." (Is it really called that, or is it still officially dedicated to "secretaries?" Ah, whatevs.)

Also, it is practically summer out today. I really need to bring shorts and other warm-weather gear cross-state. Right now my only option for a cool change after work is the one skirt long enough to prevent me from inadvertently flashing my roommates. (No, I don't actually wear miniskirts . . . but even just-past-knee-length skirts are kind of challenging for me.)

This evening is for assorted tasks and playing around with my new scanner (yay). Also probably breakfast for dinner, as there was no way I was walking into the grocery with a dripping backpack.

Oh, and a heads' up of sorts: I'm going to be back in the Valley the next two weekends. I'll be somewhat occupied with my brother this coming one, and with Pride on the next, but would love to hear from folks who may be in the area as well.

Um. Neil Gaiman will be at MIT in late May. And be interviewed by Henry Jenkins. Who I had totally forgotten was at MIT.

Yeah, I kind of have to go to that.

Hrm. So I just bought a ridiculously expensive (name-brand) messenger bag, but I already regret it, and am considering returning it. The thing is, I really need one; my backpack, sturdy and faithful though it is, just doesn't cut it for the kind of day-to-day carrying I'm doing right now. And it's way too big for my computer.

Does anyone have any suggestions for a more affordable, quality item, or should I just keep the frelling Timbuk2? (I really do not give a damn about brands; I want something in nice dark colors with a couple small pockets and no lame prints, that will not fall apart. Basically.)

It's a beautiful day, so I spent a fair portion of it sitting in a park, doodling and sipping a Herrell's milkshake. Also, I was going through the Cambridge Center for Adult Education summer catalog. I want to do something fun; turns out they have many appealing options, and I'm not sure what to take.

( Things I'm contemplating. )

Anyway, I'm definitely feeling much more energetic and positive now. (I really ought to migrate or something; the winter slump just gets more dramatic every year, I swear. Of course, there were extenuating circumstances this time, but still.) There are a lot of awesome things coming up in May, too.

Oh. So there was this huge mass of hair-dyed pierced black-and-white-stripe-wearing scene-y kids in Harvard Square earlier, and I was so confused. I just realized that the Dresden Dolls were at Newbury Comics today. D'oh.

Yes, so, have kind of vanished again. You know me . . . it's a perpetual cycle of appearing-and-disappearing. (Both in the real world and the virtual; even different corners of both. And when I'm in one in particular I'm not so much in the others.)

The more the weather improves, the better I feel, for the most part. Also, the more inspired . . . I finished a piece yesterday, went to scan it, and discovered that my scanner is not compatible with my computer. (It's a really, really old HP model, and there don't appear to be updated drivers for Mac.)

It is incredibly sad that I just discovered this, considering that I've had the computer since September and Photoshop for it since the end of February. That's how completely blah I was feeling, artistically. Fortunately, I can afford a new (if somewhat low-end) scanner. Here's to it actually getting some use!

"Set your wife on fire." -the subject line of a message in my spam folder. It took me a minute.

Tonight I had dinner with four friends who don't really know each other at all (several of whom had not met, even in passing). It went well, and was awesome! (I am slightly relieved. I mean, you are all awesome and I love you, but all of us are intimately familiar with awkwardness.)

This totally makes up for my recent (recurring) anti-socialness, right? I'm having dinner with three more friends (this time all mutual) tomorrow! (I can't wait.)

Anyway, it was a brilliant evening. I came home to find Roommate #2 (the one I don't have epic conversations with--and in fact, haven't seen all week) just going out. Tried to have a brief genial exchange with him, and was immediately doubled over in a violent coughing fit.

I really hope I didn't scare/disgust the boy too much; we're kind of shy of each other as it is. Damn head cold.

Anyway, I have the apartment to myself now, and can blast loud music for a bit. Whee. (Shame I can't sing along.)